Missing my Squirt...

Yesterday was a hard day. My little dog, Squirt, a boston terrier, has been my bud for 11 years. Thursday night, he started yelping for no apparent reason and then seemed to be unable to lay down. I woke up in the middle of the night and he seemed to be much worse and I could tell he was in pain. I sat there in the floor with him, crying because I couldn't do anything for him. He finally got himself laid down and seemed to settle down, but by the morning he was standing up again and his legs weren't working right. I took him to the vet first thing and they told me he had something wrong with his back, maybe a herniated disc. But there was something else going on, something neurological. I had to leave for a field trip and so I left him there for bloodwork and tests. When they called me several hours later, the news wasn't good. He had started having seizures and they were having to give him Valium to keep them stopped. They thought he had a brain tumor. I had to make the incredibly tough decision to put him to sleep rather than see him suffer anymore. We all got to see him, even the kids. Natalie brought his favorite toy and he even went after it. I think both kids did really well. It was just a tough afternoon. I held Squirt the whole time. I think he knew that we loved him. It's amazing how much he means to me. He has truly been a part of the family and I already miss him so much. I've never seen a dog with more personality than he had. In fact, I'm pretty sure he thought of himself as a person, not a dog. He's been with me through some really rough times, and somehow he always knew when I was upset. He would come over and sit right next to me. There's something special about the way a dog loves - they love unconditionally. They don't care what you look like or what anyone else thinks about you - you feed them and give them some attention and they would do anything for you. I loved that little dog and I sure am going to miss him.

Holy Week

We had Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services at church, not something we usually do, and they were so good. I am glad that they prompted me to think... about what Christ went through on the way to and while He was on the cross. He knew exactly what was coming, and He did it anyway. And the worst part was... He did it alone. That struck me this year and bowled me over. He knows what it's like to be completely alone. Even the Father turned away when Jesus took the sin of the world on Him. I know it's because of my situation this Easter, but I'm comforted to know that Jesus knows that pain, too, and He cares and He loves me.

Procrastinating...

Thursday night - my kids are with their dad for a couple of hours and I should be doing something productive... instead I am on the computer? I need to be studying for the GMAT (going back to school for my master's), but I have already studied a good bit today, so, that can wait. I was supposed to be at the t-ball park today for Natalie's game and Nathan's practice. But it has rained for almost a week and a half, so everything was canceled. This was opening week - so we've had no games yet. I am interested to see how these games work - especially Nathan's. Three and four year olds are not so into a structured game. They like to hit the ball, but fielding? Not so much. Nathan can sometimes be found roaming the infield with his glove on top of his head. It should be fun to see how the games work out.